In today’s workplaces, collaboration, empathy, and communication are increasingly recognised as essential leadership traits. Yet the very qualities that women are often praised for - emotional intelligence, active listening, adaptability - are frequently undervalued when it comes to promotions, influence, and decision-making power. This disconnect stems from a long-standing bias: when women lead with soft skills, it’s seen as “natural,” not strategic.

This oversight doesn’t just undermine women - it holds businesses back from the full benefit of diverse, emotionally intelligent leadership.

Soft Skills: The Underrated Leadership Advantage

Soft skills are not simply “nice to have”, they are critical to team success, conflict resolution, and innovation. In fact, the World Economic Forum ranks emotional intelligence, leadership, and social influence among the top job skills for the future (WEF).

And yet, when women exhibit these skills, they are often perceived as supportive rather than strategic. A study published in the Harvard Business Review found that women consistently outscore men in key leadership competencies, including inspiring and motivating others, developing others, and building relationships. Despite this, they remain underrepresented in leadership roles (HBR).

“Natural Talent” vs. Professional Value

Part of the issue lies in how soft skills are framed. When men show empathy, it’s seen as a leadership strength. When women do the same, it’s often perceived as an expected personality trait rather than a professional asset.

This contributes to the "effort discount" - a tendency to assume that women’s contributions require less effort, or are less intentional, and therefore deserve less recognition or reward. According to research from Catalyst, women are 1.5 times more likely to be praised for being supportive, while men are more often praised for being ambitious or strategic (Catalyst).

The Promotion Gap

The undervaluing of women’s soft skills is one reason they are less likely to be identified as “high-potential” candidates for leadership. A McKinsey & LeanIn report shows that for every 100 men promoted to manager, only 87 women are. (McKinsey).

Women are also more likely to be steered into roles seen as “executional” or “supportive,” rather than strategic or revenue-generating. These roles are often dead ends when it comes to climbing the leadership ladder.

Redefining What Leadership Looks Like

If businesses are serious about building inclusive cultures and high-performing teams, they need to move beyond outdated leadership archetypes.

That means:

• Recognising relational intelligence as a competitive advantage, not a soft bonus.
• Promoting based on impact, not outdated stereotypes of what leadership looks like.
• Rewarding collaboration, team development, and empathy as essential business drivers.

What Companies Can Do

To unlock the full value of women’s leadership, organizations should:

• Audit performance and promotion criteria to ensure soft skills are appropriately weighted and rewarded.
• Train evaluators and managers to recognize gendered language and unconscious bias in feedback and appraisals.
• Create advancement pathways that value emotional labor, people development, and inclusive leadership.
• Highlight soft skill success stories to shift the narrative around what leadership looks like.

Conclusion

Soft skills aren’t soft. They are the backbone of resilient, people-centered, future-ready companies. It’s time we stop taking them for granted - especially when they’re most often embodied and practiced by women.

When we recognize and reward these qualities as leadership essentials - not personality quirks - we open the door to more effective, diverse, and human-centered workplaces.

Let’s stop underestimating women’s soft skills. Let’s start leveraging them.