Confidence is often framed as the final hurdle to women’s advancement at work. From bestselling books to executive seminars, the message is clear: if women want to succeed, they need to speak up, stand tall, and lean in. But this narrative overlooks a critical reality: confidence alone doesn’t level the playing field - especially when the game is rigged.

The Confidence Gap and Its Roots in Reality

The so-called “confidence gap” is often used to explain why women don’t rise as quickly in their careers. A widely cited statistic claims that men will apply for jobs when they meet just 60% of the qualifications, while women typically wait until they meet 100% (Harvard Business Review). On the surface, this appears to be a personal shortfall.

But this framing misses the mark.

“It’s almost as if inequalities, and gender inequalities in particular, were being explained away by a confidence deficit among women. It’s letting all of these institutions off the hook. And it’s also blaming women.”-Rosalind Gill, professor at City University (Financial Times).

Gill’s insight cuts to the heart of the issue. The emphasis on confidence subtly shifts responsibility away from inequitable systems and onto individual women. It ignores how women are more likely to receive vague or personality-based feedback, and how they face double standards when asserting themselves-praised for being collaborative, penalized for being direct. In this context, confidence isn’t lacking. It’s constantly tested, and often punished.

The Likeability Penalty

Assertiveness is encouraged - until it’s penalized. Studies reveal that women leaders are often caught in a double bind, where being confident is essential for leadership, but those who display it are often seen as unlikeable or abrasive (Russell Reynolds).

This isn’t about imposter syndrome. It’s about a system that demands confidence from women, then punishes them for displaying it.

The Cost of the Confidence Myth

When women are told that confidence is the key to success, the burden of change is placed entirely on the individual. This personalizes systemic inequality, making women responsible for overcoming bias, rather than addressing the systems that uphold it.

And businesses are complicit. A wave of corporate initiatives - coaching programs, motivational talks, executive presence workshops - has created an entire “confidence industrial complex”. It’s a billion-dollar business that too often profits from telling women to fix themselves rather than fixing biased systems.

Confidence Without Power Isn’t Empowerment

What good is confidence when it doesn’t translate to opportunity?

A confident woman who still lacks access to sponsors, fair feedback, or promotion pipelines is no better off than a quiet one. Without systemic change, confidence becomes performance -exhausting and, ultimately, ineffective.

Women are already working harder to be seen and heard. The idea that they simply need to believe in themselves more is not only dismissive - it’s dangerous.

Why Businesses Should Care

The issue isn’t whether women are confident. It’s whether workplaces are designed to recognize and reward their contributions.

Confidence should not be a prerequisite for equity. Instead, companies should:

• Audit feedback systems to ensure clarity and consistency across genders.
• Train leaders to recognize bias, particularly in performance reviews and promotions.
• Support vulnerability and emotional intelligence as workplace assets - not liabilities.
• Promote psychological safety, so all employees, not just the loudest, can thrive.

When companies shift from performative confidence culture to real structural support, women don’t need to overcompensate to belong. They can lead authentically - and succeed sustainably.

The Confidence Myth: What Needs to Change

It’s time to retire the idea that women’s confidence is the missing piece of workplace equality. What’s missing is equity, inclusion, and the dismantling of the systems that reward bravado over balance.

Until then, the message to women shouldn’t be to believe harder. It should be: You were never the problem. The system is.

And that’s what needs to change.